Hoping to be classy at the Capitol Theater or Why I still haven’t seen ‘True Grit’
I will be the first to admit I have horrible (horrible) taste in movies. I recently bought my second copy of Cameron Crowe’s “Elizabethtown” because I am obsessed with it, imagining it has connections to “The Catcher in the Rye” (red hat!) and “Leaves of Grass” (Whitman’s masterpiece, not the Edward Norton film about an Oklahoma drug lord). I own other pathetic films that reduce my credibility as a human being such as “Mamma Mia,” “Catch and Release,” “Saved,” and (sigh…) “Sweet Home Alabama.” Last weekend, when my brother was home for Christmas, he said, “Why don’t you go see something good. There are so many good movies out right now.” Of course, I went to see Paul Rudd and Reese Witherspoon in a movie I’ve already forgotten the name of. * I’ve read, by my estimation, more than 50 classic novels this year, and I’m about to take a five-month class in which I’ll only read Chaucer. Crap movies are my fast food wrappers hidden in the trash. But, I’m hoping, the Capital Theater might save me, might be the “Super Size Me” to the fast food — the movie that made me feel guilty enough to eat what’s good for me (at least for a little while).
Ryan found an ad today at La Bodega (good turkey sandwiches) for a new promo they’re doing at Capitol. Sunday, Jan. 16, they’re starting a Sunday brunch where they show an old-fashion-y movie at 10 a.m. and offer discounted brunch at Luxe, 41N, and Reddstone. Hurray! Their first is “Maltese Falcon” with Humphrey Bogart. So I’m hoping to expand my (very limited) horizons and take a leap, kind of like the main character in “Leap Year,” which, of course, I just bought.
Join me, if you too like film and you too need a little more substance in your Sunday brunch.
* I really tried not to end this sentence with a preposition. And I failed.
** Not familar with the Capitol? It’s the west side’s version of the Cedar-Lee. Nowhere near as established, it’s only a few year’s old, but it’s gorgeous (reminiscient of the fabulously remodeled Athena, for those nostalgic for OU), shows a variety of big-name and tiny-tiny films, and is the center of one of Cleveland’s most interesting neighborhoods.
Six Ways to Make Your Holiday Feel More Festive
CAROLING: Last night Ryan and I hiked down to Prosperity Social Club to meet Ann Marie and Darren and check out what turned out to be pretty fantastic karaoke. If you don’t mind going out so early in the week, you can go next month — they set it up every third Monday of the month from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Even if you’re not into karaoke, this is one of my favorite places to go during the holidays for the kinds of decorations my grandma P would have loved. On the menu: multiple people say their Gouda Burger is one of the best they’ve ever had. They have bread pudding and holiday-ish hot chocolate-with-other-stuff-in-it drinks. The perfect holiday gathering place. Backup Plan: I haven’t been to Tina’s in the Detroit Shoreway neighborhood, but I have heard nothing but delightful comments about this hole-in-the-wall establishment’s nightly karaoke activities. I’ll keep you updated.
COOKIE MAKING: Mix milk, powdered sugar, a little vanilla with food
coloring until it’s pourable. Drizzle it in your mouth with a funnel. Or on a sugar cookie. This is the recipe for sugar-induced happiness.
FESTIVE PETS: With much of the same confusing, I’m-not-sure-if-this-is-ironic Christmas Sweater Wearing, I’ve been dressing up my dog in costumes during 
various holidays (Christmas, Halloween). My costumes are $5 at Target. My dog looks so pissed off, it never fails to make me laugh. Sorry, Molly.
HUMAN BEINGS BEING GOOD TO EACH OTHER: The holidays are the best times to find stories in the newspaper that will cause embarrassing emotional reactions. Here’s one my mom found: Regina Brett’s column. Make sure you read the whole thing. Come on, it’s not that long.
THE HOLIDAY BOOK (that isn’t lame): One of my best, quirkiest, and most intelligent students reads Dickens’s novella from 1843 “A Christmas Carol” every year. It’s fewer than 100 pages and, of course, gorgeous. Plus, when people ask what you’ve been up to, you can say, “Reading some Dickens,” and it’ll probably sound better than, “I just picked up a copy of ‘In Touch’ and I’m really worried Bieber’s going to cut his hair. Bad move if you ask me.” Come on, Dickens is cool!
THE HOLIDAY BREW: This is the scenario. They’re out of Christmas Ale, and you’ve promised your out-of-town friends that they’re going to try something amazing. Pick Troegs uber-potent “Mad Elf,” but pour it into a small glass. It’s not from Ohio, but it is nearish in Pennylvania. And it’s a good backup for our local-loved Great Lakes.
Of the books that are ubiquitious in American schools, there are a few that I learn something new from every time I re-read them. My favorite for this mysterious occurrence is The Catcher in the Rye, but the book whose themes I see everywhere and often is Lord of the Flies. Year after year, I’ve found students who reach the end of the book with the pessimistic and tragic conclusion that Golding displays a humanity that is doomed to fail. Even boys on an idyllic island with every possible need for survival met will create conflict where it does not exist, isolate members of society, and ultimately destroy themselves. The questions then are: 1) Is Golding really that pessimistic, and 2) If he is, what do we do with this information?
Well the answer, I think, is in the speech he gave when he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1983. In an incredibly short lecture, he said this:
Then let me use what I suppose is my last minute of worldwide attention to speak not as one of a nation but as one of mankind. I use it to reach all men and women of power. Go back. Step back now. Agreement between you does not need cleverness, elaboration, manoeuvres. It needs common sense, and above all, a daring generosity. Give, give, give!
And I love this because, as it turns out, Golding didn’t want to show us the problem; he wanted to show us that the solution to it isn’t as complicated as we worry; it is stunning how simple the conflict can be solved. “Give, give, give!” Remarkable. How many problems do we fail to resolve, when the solution is simply between two people?
Lesson No. 2 from Golding is simpler. The first 20 publishers he sent his book to rejected it. Who keeps trying after 20 rejections? God, that’s encouraging.
FLASHED: I was occupied with the super-nuptuals of Jen and Mark Dietrich yesterday, so I didn’t stop into the West Side Market at 2 p.m., but I did manage to talk Ryan into taking a video for me, so I could check out Cleveland’s most recent Random Act of Culture when a flash mob of hundreds of singers broke into the “Hallelujah” chorus in the middle of the market’s busiest shopping day of the week. If you’ve every secretly wanted life to be like a musical, something like this must be so amazing. And I’m willing to bet that’s more people than who will admit to it. There has to be a reason that “Glee!”, “High School Musical,” and “Wicked” are so popular. This is the most recent flash mob in Cleveland, but apparently, there have been others, like this Cleveland dance group who broke into choreographed dance moves circa a recent episode of “Modern Family” or any scene in “Mamma Mia.”
HITCHED: 
Jen and Mark’s wedding was gorgeous and small and cozy. They had cupcakes from Main Street, the best little cupcakery in Cleveland, poetry from e.e. cummings, a stellar view of Cleveland, and, thank god, my speech wasn’t a disaster. 
Despite teaching high school English for six years, I still have a massive fear of public speaking when I’m not talking in front of teenagers. I made Ryan listen to my speech about 37 times, and I was still worried about it, but everything went pretty well. My favorite line was the last one that had maybe my best pun to date. I read part of Shakespeare’s Sonnet No. 116 (Love is not love/Which alters when it alteration finds,/Or bends with the remover to remove:/O no! it is an ever-fixed mark/
That looks on tempests and is never shaken). So my last line was: For Jen her first love is just like Shakespeare described, an “ever-fixed” Mark. I know, it’s kind of awful, but we teach English. And I can validate our subject to students in one more way (ie: someday you’ll need poetry when you give a 
toast at a wedding). Congratulations to Mark and Jen! You were both beautiful, and the dance floor was packed until the lights turned on — a true sign of success. And one more thank you to Sara who, at more than 7 months pregnant, stayed until the end, and drove five people home. You’re the best mom! Shout outs to Darren, Ann Marie, Bananas, LIG, Adam, and Larissa — I love your company!
FROZEN: And, lastly, I’d like to take a moment to discuss ice cream, a topic that I feel especially attached to given my brief yet magical time working at Ripple Creme in Elyria in 1998. I’ve heard rumors (some more credible than others) that Jeni’s Ice Cream is opening a store in Cleveland. The owner, the other Jeni Britton, has stores in Columbus (Kyle actually introduced this one to me), but she’s supposedly opening a store in Chagrin Falls next year, according to her blog. In the mean time, it seems Jeni’s has started selling at Heinen’s, which is amazing news if you’re at all interested in something that sounds like this: Goat Cheese with Cognac Fig Sauce Ice Cream. The Salty Caramel is pretty phenominal, too. Tote them along to a holiday party, buy them for your own, give them as a gift. Everyone will be happy to see you.
Music:Better Than Ezra play at House of Blues on Thursday at 8 p.m. I’m searching for signs of life, but there’s nobody home.
Friendies: Jenny and Mark’s super fabulous wedding is this Saturday. I’m polishing up my speech.
Politicomplaining: More reasons to remind myself that I voted for Hillary in the primary. Ugh.
Gradlife: Wednesday was my last Irish Lit class with Jeannie, Mark, Terry, Mim, and Whatever at John Carroll, and I’m taking next semester off for the first time in five years. Read A Star Called Henry if you get a chance. Also, I might actually have time to read something that’s not required next semester. Suggestions?
Teaching:Ann Marie and I meet our student teacher Carson tomorrow after school. We hope he is witty, hard-working, and likes tea. Looking for possible nicknames for the wee student.
Counting: Two days until break, and one of them is ugly Christmas sweater day.
Reasons to go to Night town in Cleveland:
1. It’s named after the red light district in Dublin portrayed in James Joyce’s fattest book. James Joyce !
2. Lobster Mac & Cheese. Oh my stars.
3. They already have their St. Patrick’s Day plans on the menu.
4. They’re supposedly one of the 100 best jazz clubs in the world. The guy rocking out on the piano stood on his bench and played with his foot. What? So commendable.
5. There’s a completely diverse crowd. Young, old, jeans, suits, hipsters, nerds, packs of classy ladies, lots of guys with beards, etc… Literally, there were dudes with beards at every contiguous table.
6. Drinks named after Joyce characters, many of which include Irish whiskey or gin: I had the combo of Jameson, Frangelico, and Bailey’s (it was either called a “James Joyce” or a “Ulysses”; I couldn’t remember after I drank it).
7. They have music pretty much every night.
8. Bread pudding.
Also, this is the last paragraph of Joyce’s “The Dead.” And it’s really, really pretty.
“A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It
had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver
and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had
come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the
newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was
falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills,
falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly
falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too,
upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael
Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and
headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns.
His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly
through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their
last end, upon all the living and the dead.”
Next weekend: 
You should go to the West Side Market on W. 25th Street at 2 p.m. next Saturday, Dec. 18. Be there. You will be pleased.
Food: I haven’t been to Johnny Mango’s in awhile, but Ryan suggested it yesterday, and it was AMAZING! Who else can make brussel sprouts taste so good? Speaking of Mango and the West Side Market, I’m off to hunt down some mango-habanero salsa at the market. Hurray for Saturday!
Music: My brother just recommended this song. And it is lovely. It’s called “American Hearts” by A.A. Bondy. Trust Kyle. He has good taste in music.
Friend promo: Check out my talented, poetic friends and their band School Night. They’re from New York and Cleveland, and they should be in town sometime over the holidays to play in C-town. Notice the uber-melodious background chorus in “Hear You Me”? That’s Ryan and me and a bunch of Mike’s local friendies. Hurray for merry choruses.
Check out these t-shirts by Columbus artist-lady Janean if you’re looking for Ohio-centric fun for the holidays.
Bac, the new(ish) restaurant on W. 14th is in the same location as the former Tortilla Feliz, which had great Guatemalan food, but didn’t make it. That whole block is kind of coming alive. Lava Lounge has been there for awhile, Deering Vintage just moved in across the street (see below for more on Deering), and there’s another new(ish) boutique clothing store next to Bac. I’ve been there twice, and the food has been amazing.
Eat: Basil Fried Rice or Pad Thai — both delicious and plentiful enough to last for at least two meals
Drink: The “Singapore Redux” — it’s sweet and spicy with gin, lime and pineapple juice, and enough thai chili syrup to give it a good kick
Everyone I know in Cleveland is loving this article by ESPN’s Wright Thompson. This writer completely captures Cleveland’s energy, issues, and a big chunk of its history.
When I was young, I always said I was moving away. Away to Florida, Kirabati, California. Away! It wasn’t until I was old enough and self-sufficient enough to drive around in Cleveland without getting lost that I really got why people come back here. There are so many phenominal things in this town, but it takes time to learn the city well enough to find them. This town has creative food, museums, low-key dives, gorgeous churches, funky neighborhoods, parks that make you feel like you’re in the center of a vast forest or along a river as long as the Mississippi, incredible festivals, tiny music venues, wineries, breweries, colleges, the biggest theater district outside New York. I can go on and on, but you can read the article. Now that it’s getting dark in the middle of the afternoon, let’s keep reminding each other that there are still reasons to go outside in Cleveland.
Also, to the writers on “How I Met Your Mother,” you can do better than this completely unflattering view of our hometown! Aren’t you from Cleveland? We appreciate the shout outs on Ted’s t-shirts, but if our stereotype is Punchy, well, please use your magical writing power (because really, you are amazing) to re-type us.
Believeland!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hfUUOFJrE8